The Courage to be Disliked by Kishimi and Koga

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Book Review of The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

Hello! My name is Monica, and I am a people pleaser. It’s part of my high functioning anxiety. However, the older I get, the more I learn that people pleasing isn’t all that it’s cut out to be. Honestly, it’s exhausting. I have spent too many years running faster than my strength. The guilt I feel over saying no is worse than the stress/lack of sleep from saying yes. It is something that has taken me a long time to learn and even longer to figure out how to put into practice, but I feel like I’m finally making headway. When I saw The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga I knew I needed to read it. The courage to be disliked is something I need in my life!


Is happiness something you choose for yourself? The Courage to Be Disliked presents a simple and straightforward answer. Using the theories of Alfred Adler, one of the three giants of nineteenth-century psychology alongside Freud and Jung, this book follows an illuminating dialogue between a philosopher and a young man. Over the course of five conversations, the philosopher helps his student to understand how each of us is able to determine the direction of our own life, free from the shackles of past traumas and the expectations of others.

Rich in wisdom, The Courage to Be Disliked will guide you through the concepts of self-forgiveness, self-care, and mind decluttering. It is a deeply liberating way of thinking, allowing you to develop the courage to change and ignore the limitations that you might be placing on yourself. This plainspoken and profoundly moving book unlocks the power within you to find lasting happiness and be the person you truly want to be. Millions have already benefited from its teachings, now you can too.

My Book Review:

The cover of the book is simple, yet elegant. Peaceful. I like the colors and the image. It’s definitely inviting. I was very excited to read it and gain all this wisdom and knowledge—and change my life!

Then, I opened the book to the introduction. Maybe I should have realized this beforehand, but I didn’t. The entire book is written in dialogue form. The whole thing is a big conversation. Honestly, I was upset but decided to give it a try and keep reading.

Yeah, no. I read the whole book, and when I finished I tried to tell my husband something I’d learned. Seriously, I closed the book, and he immediately asked me what I thought and if I’d learned anything. I couldn’t really remember or describe anything I’d learned.

I’m sure there are great amounts of wisdom in this book, but I don’t think I’m smart enough to glean them from the text. The conversational format completely threw me off. Then, the characters bring in words like teleology and etiology, and I’m out. I’m an elementary school teacher and a mom. I took a psychology 101 class in college—many years ago, and I can’t remember one thing from it.

Philosophy is not my jam. I know the names of Freud, Jung, Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle, but I have no idea what they taught or discussed. Yes, I’m showing my own ineptitude here, but that’s why I wanted to read the book. I wanted to learn and understand more about philosophy. In my opinion, this book is not the way to go to do that.

What did I want? Well, I need a philosophy for dummies book. Start at the very beginning and explain, in detail, who the philosophers are and what they believe or teach. Give definitions, examples, and more examples so I can highlight them, take notes in the margins, and have time to think and process the info.

The conversational format really threw me off. First, I don’t think of college-age kids today going to find philosophers that live in the neighborhood and going to chat with them. That seems like it would have been hundreds of years ago, not today. Second, when I’m learning something new I generally need definitions, examples, and time to process it and think through it. The conversational format did not allow for that at all. The conversation moved on and left my understanding lying on the ground behind it.

As I read, I did find nuggets here and there that I agreed with and understood, but I wasn’t able to place them in the whole, if that makes sense. I didn’t highlight anything or take notes on anything because I was confused a lot of the time. This book made me feel stupid, which I don’t like. Haha! That probably means I should read it again and research it as I go. I should learn more so I have a better foundation, then go back and read it again. But who has time for that?

Another thing I had a difficult time with was that there are several anti-Christian references, which I didn’t like. He also makes it seem like you can just think your way out of ADHD and mental illness. Sorry–I live with and love a few people with ADHD and mental illness, and it’s not that easy.

Anyway, if you have more of a background in philosophy and psychology, and if you understand the different philosophies of Freud and Adler, then this book may be more for you. If you can learn from the conversational format, then go for it! It has many great reviews out there! Then, please report back and teach it to me!

So, did I gain the courage to be disliked from The Courage to be Disliked? Ummmm…no. Sadly, I did not. If this information comes out in a different format, please let me know! I need more of an informational format.

PG Content Rating

Content Rating: PG

  • Profanity: None
  • Intimacy: None
  • Violence: None

Age Recommendation: 16+

  • Younger readers won’t understand or care.


My Rating: 3/5

3 Star Rating




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